honestly, ford guilty pleasure jacking it to bill sometime post-betrayal while he’s off in the portal is a thought i revisit

because when hormones get up, his thoughts keep going to times with bill (as those were at least his most recent times) and he gets frustrated and pushes it down because it’s fucking bill, you know.

finally though he’s just like “you know what! fine! one time!” because maybe if he does it once while thinking of bill it’ll get it out of his system

it doesn’t though and he’s just ashamed for it afterwards