shandoreblog:

hey… nobody ever talks about it but like.. imagine paranoid Ford having relapses where he desperately tries to believe in Bill. he goes through the cipher file and remembers everything that made him trust Bill in the first place and tries to remember that feeling. how could it all have been a lie? there must have been something genuine there. Bill must have a reason, a good reason, to have done this.. he’d look at all the memorabilia he has of Bill, at his journal, at the portal, and he can’t bring himself to believe it’d all been for naught. all of his time wasted, his weaknesses exploited, his feelings invalidated… it can’t be.